How Not to Spend New Year’s Dec29


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How Not to Spend New Year’s

Every year around New Year’s, people complain that they don’t know what to do. I’m here to help this year with my handy guide on how NOT to spend New Year’s.


Option 1: High-Class Hotel

This is literally the worst thing you can do. You’ll have to spend upwards of $200 for the privilege of hanging out at The Drake or The W for 4 hours. This generally doesn’t include a room, so add another $200 (at least) for that. Also, you’ll have to dress up in a suit and tie, which is awful. These places basically are advertising that you’ll get to hang out with lots of pretty women and get laid, which of course is completely false. If you’re single, save your $400. If you’re with a girl who wants to do this, she’s too high maintenance.


Option 2: Your Local Bar

Every bar in the city will inevitably offer a New Year’s Eve “special,” which involves paying $30-$60 to drink for 4 hours. This is another terrible idea, as at the end of the day you’re still hanging out at your local crappy pub. In addition, the waitresses will all be pissed off because no one is tipping since they just paid $60 to get in. A final, often overlooked negative side to this option is the fact that you may find yourself in the middle of a fight. With everyone drinking as quickly as possible to maximize their $60 investment, you can run into problems.


Option 3: Nothing

This option competes with Option 1 (high-class hotel) for being the worst thing you can do. Every year I hear some people claim that New Year’s is “dumb” and they’re just going to stay in and have a quiet night at home. I understand that they’ve probably experienced plenty of New Year’s Eves that involved Options 1 and 2 and thus have been completely turned off by the idea. Still, there’s no reason to miss out on a perfectly good party because you made bad decisions in the past.


Option 4: House Party

This is the best of the “bad” options. If you can get together at a friend’s house and enjoy New Year’s with your friends, you’re bound to have a good time and not break the bank. The problem is getting home or finding proper sleeping arrangements. Sleeping on a couch or floor is never fun, and braving the crazy drivers is not usually very safe.


Now that I’ve listed the worst ways to spend New Year’s, let me leave you with the proper way to celebrate.


The Only Sane Option: Rent a House for the Weekend

The past couple of years my friends and I have all rented a big house and spent the entire weekend there. Not only is it incredibly affordable ($100-$200 per person for the whole weekend), but you get to spend three days with your friends. Our trips usually involve drinking, playing board games, watching movies, playing tackle football, sledding, skiing, making big dinners, and just hanging out. The only true downside tends to be travel and potentially poor driving conditions, but if you’re able to get a house within a reasonable distance from your home, you should be in good shape. This year we’re headed off to Michigan City, a simple one-hour drive from Chicago. In addition to being near a casino, the house we’ve rented has a movie room and a hot tub big enough to fit all of us comfortably.

I understand that it’s probably too late to change your New Year’s plans for this year, but keep my advice in mind for next year. I promise that if you follow my advice you’ll go from hating New Year’s to looking forward to it every year.

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