The Walking DeadMATCH Character Battle: Round 4

Welcome to the fourth round of The Walking DeadMATCH Character Battle.

In the third round we saw Hershel destroy something he loves AKA none of his family members and Old Man Lookout upsetting the INSHANEITY.

Current standings heading into Round 4:

Click the bracket to view the full version!

 

Let’s get it on!

(1) Rick Grimes vs. (3) Old Man Lookout (Dale)

Rick has an unhealthy tolerance for Old Man Lookout.  He’s pretty much the only one to give a damn about what Dale says.  That could really cost him.  I’m also concerned that Rick is focused on OML’s ability to deal out stupid looks.  In OML’s eulogy, Rick references Dale’s “look”:

He's got the look!

On OML’s side, he has a few cards on the table that are far more powerful than “the look”:  old man strength, his Caribbean RV Conflict Resolution Center and an abundance of superior morals.

The kill: Rick walks up to Old Man Lookout and cocks his gun.  Old Man Lookout quickly blurts out, “Think about  what you are doing!?”  Rick freezes.  This is looking bad for Rick.  Rick foolishly waits for OML to continue his moral grandstanding.  “This isn’t you, Rick” the crusty Carribean lovin’ old fart continues.  Now Rick is totally confused.

"Yeah, i know. it's fucking TITS"

OML, his voice breaking, cry sobs the line, “You are better than this!”   Rick is so emotional he moves his mouth around like he’s swishing listerine.   He puts down his gun.  OML lies to him and tells him, “You made the right choice.” and then gives him is patented creepy smile:

I know now why you cry..but it's something Dale can never do.

Dale brings him into his RV to watch an important video that “will change Rick’s life.”

He shows Rick the following:

Rick buys a luxury beachfront timeshare at The Reef Atlantis. #fail

Winner: Old Man Lookout

(1) Hersheles (Hershel) vs. (7) Hats / Caps

Hats / Caps barely survived the last round, saved only by a surprise assist from Carol’s Hair.  Carol’s Hair sacrificed itself to kill Daryl so it’s unlikely Hats / Caps will get any help this week.  Hats / Caps probably thinks it can overwhelm Hersheles due to his lack of experience with headwear.

But if there’s one man who doesn’t need  a hat it’s Hersheles.  Headwear would cover the beautiful, flowing mane lightly resting atop Hersheles’ incredible brains.

The kill: Hersheles tells Hats / Caps to get off his farm.  Hats / Caps doesn’t because they are inanimate objects.  This makes Hersheles furious.  After a few days he calms down and he offers Dale’s bucket hat his father’s watch and gives it his blessing to court his daughter. He asks the hat if its parents are immigrants.  Dale’s bucket hat does not reply.

A week later, Hersheles is having his usual early afternoon bottle of wine when he’s distracted by Carl’s Jr’s hat which SOMEHOW is hanging on his beloved hat rack.

HOW

DARE YOU!

Hersheles stares at Carl’s Jr’s hat with his steely god eyes.  He slams the rest of the bottle of wine.  Then he grabs another bottle of wine and drinks it all in one swig.  Then Hersheles gets up and walks to the hat rack.  Hersheles puts it on his head. It looks like it’s betraying the other hats.  Carl’s Jr’s hat is changing sides!!!!!!!

Hersheles’ has MADE HIMSELF SHERIFF! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!?

Now Hersheles is a GOD SHERIFF!!!! 

"Two things awe me most, the starry sky above me and the moral law within me."

Hersheles has completely turned the tide agains the hats / caps.  With a new found sense of justice, Hersheles and his newest ally grab all of the other caps and head out into the night.  One by one, Hersheles stares at each hat for five minutes and then throws it into the well.  They all get really soaked.  There’s nothing worse than putting on a soaked hat.

Winner: Hersheles (Hershel)

Come back tomorrow to see the results of the final fight of The Walking DeadMATCH Character Battle!

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